No, not Melody Pond. I wish. No, it's finally election day! Soon we can put to rest what has seemed like the longest, most endlessly prolonged, most annoyingly partisan election season ever.
I will never be so happy to see local carpet cleaning commercials.
But first I have to get through the day, and even worse, the night. A night of being glued to the news channels and their needlessly high-tech maps and their commentators of varying (but mostly low) tolerability.
I'm trying not to be too emotionally engaged in this, but I can already see it's going to be a bad day for stress eating.
Consider the circumstances:
- We have a ton of leftover Halloween candy.
- And a box of Mozzarella Cheez-Its.
- Ohio is a swing state. THE swing state. The one it always comes down to.
- Ohio can go either way.
- The freezer is really full, and two ice cream cartons are taking up a lot of room.
Oh yes, it's going to be ugly.
Tips managing the election night emotional binge eating:
- Focus on what you can control: I voted, and things may go my way, or they may not. Now I will focus on not eating another Twix Fun Size bar.
- Know your triggers: Some things just might cause an uncontrollable upsurge in stress. Please, please do not me hear Sarah Palin talking on TV.
- Relieve the stress some other way: Take deep breaths! Vent something you may later regret on Facebook! Do push ups! Ha ha! Got you on the last one. Like I would do push ups. Foodgoat will be the one who does all the crazy push up variations just for fun.
- Drink black tea instead: Black tea, according to one study, reduced cortisol (stress hormone) levels and helped men de-stress more quickly. Black tea doesn't sound nearly so satisfying, though, as a salad made primarily of Cheez-Its.